I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
bring money and cleavage
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
