soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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