You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
