We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
