Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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