She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
