you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
