Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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