apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
