Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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