and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
