Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
