I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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