she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
