This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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