I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
