Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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