Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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