Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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