just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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