Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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