butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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