Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
