My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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