just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
