another moral hangover. fuck.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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