Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
