Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I need to sanitize my soul.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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