I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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