we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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