last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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