It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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