Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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