**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
