Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
