omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
