why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
