...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
