If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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