If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
