I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
