My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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