Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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