Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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