My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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