Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
