my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Randomize
