I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
