white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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