There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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